C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S | A Poem

Your finger tips know
very well to scroll up and down,
tap right and right
and only right.

Oh! something appears:
Started School at XYZ.
Type congratulations!
Type it now,
because this post won’t appear later.
15 seconds and it will be gone
in the oceans of algorithms.
You’ll look mean and
rude and jealous,
so type fast, C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S!

A big glass of juice,
chocos dipped in milk,
because you love chocolate,
and yet you can’t let go of
the sight of the screen.

Let’s see:
Started Job At The Best Company In The
Whole Wide World.
Fast type: congratulations
because you do not mean to be rude,
even if your accounts have run dry,
this is not the time to
question the unconventional path
you’ve decided to walk on.

Type, type.
Because you are indeed proud of
that someone,
and wish nothing but
great things for the other.

Yet, you cannot stop wondering,
if the roads ahead
amount to anything.

Lying on the bed
close to mid-night,
the scrolling game in dim light.
The tech lights
might damage your sight,
but wait:
Engaged to DEF!
Fast, type: Congratulations,
even if you know this post will pop again,
type it fast.
Now’s not the time to worry about
your broken heart, your insecure mind
that tells you you’ve been doing something wrong
by being all by yourself
all this time.
Type: C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S!
Congratulations.

You do not mean ill will,
you do not mean disaster,
you are not the sour devil.
Even if you have to think twice
to type
congratulations!

Dried up appetites,
surviving on self doubts,
where do we belong?

Wait:
A proud father?
You look at yourself,
your body so fragile
unable to complete
what you’ve started
how and when will you ever think of a child?
Still type: Congratulations! 

Type type,
don’t be such a miser!
Wish a wish,
maybe it’ll come back to you.

Here’s a better idea:
let’s get out of this myopia.
Throw away the screen
and silence the voices in your head,
that tell you
you are not enough. 

Listen. Do not see.
Just listen.
You are E-N-O-U-G-H. 

Now write to yourself:
CONGRATULATIONS!


For everyone who feels everybody knows the path but yourself: No one does. No one. 
Pink Floyd was right:

“We’re just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year”

Brave

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough,
I said to her,
unable to meet her eyes
that looked like mine.

It’s alright, she said.

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough
to act when it was right,
I said, once again.

It’s alright, she said.

There’s some peace in acceptance,
to face your coward self,
to see things as they are.
It is not still too late to be brave.

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough
I said, to leap when the bridge appeared,
judgmental of the straps that held it.

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough
to pull tomorrow into today,
to have lost your eyes a chance
to feel it once for real.

I do not know if tomorrow
will be as good as yesterday.

It’s alright, she said.

There’s some courage needed
to know today has become yesterday,
some more to honor the unknown as it comes
like waves of water.
It is not still too late to be brave.

It is not still too late to be brave.

And I love

And I love
All of these and more.

These feet
That do not touch the ground
When seated over a chair,

This voice
Too high pitched that pierces
My own ears,

That laugh
Loud and noisy,
Unfit for normal conversations.

But I love
All of these and more.

These lips
At times that speak words
That were better not spoken,

Those hands
Breaking things into pieces
That cannot be rejoined without a scar,

This blurry eyes
That stare into the skies
Hoping to count all of the stars someday.

Yet I love
All of these and more.

This heart
Completely flawed
That still keeps on beating.

And I love
All of these and more,
All of these and more.

Becoming a year older: List of self reflections 

Turning 20 was fabulous. Turning 18 was like forever. Turning 16 was simply the best. Since then it has been about growing up. Taking charge. And that is not really sweet, eh? 

Growing up is never easy for anyone because it involves change. And while we often advocate change, it always manages to freak us out if we meditate over it for a few minutes. Growing up is not easy also because it includes expectations-both self and from others (or may be we overthink that it does?). 

Its always fun talking about something until you get there, after that its time to face the music. What next? 

When we are kids, dreaming is fun. Because we do not have to sweat to get there, not yet. The moment we realize about the sweat, thats when it starts to freak us out. And dreaming is fun when a kid also because we make ourselves believe that we got tons of time in the bank. And we cash it out every time we get a bit older. 

Honestly we’d rather not do anything and rot than toll all day to see the sun. Because the night has been comforting all long. Because the dreams about the sun were sweet. It didn’t burn anyone of the dreamers. But that shouldn’t stop us from trying to reach out to the sun. 

I’d rather sleep all day and rot than see the sun. But I don’t want to anymore. 

It was a reflective birthday this year. As I tried to keep check of my anxiety and hold on to the future. It was nothing like turning 18 or 16 or 12 and it never will be. It will always be different, and its the different that makes it worth having all the way now. 

Its fun to imagine climbing Sagarmatha (Everest) and conquering its massive height, but its not quite fun when we think about the trainings and the labor that goes into. Those who want it, do it anyways. 

The following is a checklist I thought of on how I can do something new the coming year and be proud of next year when I turn older one more year. And we can all use it! 

FOLLOW THE DREAM. And it doesnt have to be fussing over the major you chosed or leaving the job you have. Sometimes it could only mean to have to do a little extra work. I’ll be blogging my days and dreaming about animal stories for my cousins despite my school schedule and assignment. 

ACTIVATE THE BRAIN. I will continue learning Mandarin and read a book entirely in Mandarin. We got brains to use them, right? 

TO TRY TO MASTER SOMETHING I THINK I’M WORSE AT. Since nobody’s perfect, we shouldn’t let the fear of being bullied back get the best of us. Just make sure I got the major facts right. 

PATIENCE. Rome wasn’t built in a day is a famous saying. Everything just looks like an overnight success thanks to the glitz of the television and computer. I’ll make sure I don’t believe it. Overnight sucess has years of ‘night’ in it. 

EITHER YOU RULE THE DAY OR THE DAY RULES YOU. No explanation required. 

ONE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT ONE’S ACTIONS TREATS ONE FAIRLY. Try not to count the fruit. Sometimes the only control we have is over our actions and the work we put up. 

HOPE. HOPE. MORE HOPE. But after actions of course. 

Lastly, a very happy birthday to all the folks celebrating out there! 

I’d like to quote Mark Manson from his blog post about the things he learnt during his twenty somethings, ‘Nobody really has the idea of what they’re doing.’ 

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I hope you enjoyed the post. And feel free to drop comments. 

We are always learning. 

Cheers! 

Alfa