Growing Up #10: What Have We Done to Our Homes?

I’ve always been a fan of retreats, but then it struck me this time. What have we done to our homes that we must go far far away from it to find our peace back? Isn’t home supposed to be the inviolable place we rested our minds, the impermeable barrier that kept us safe, the impervious door no evil could pass?

This is of course not to say travel and retreats are a waste. It’s just very ironic that our schedules have made us their slaves. We’re always connected, and a few minutes of disconnection can feel like a year of missing out.

I’ve been reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari, and a line from the book about the domestication of wheat strikes so familiar to what technology has done to us:

We did not domesticate wheat. It domesticated us. 

Perhaps technology has domesticated us. Harari calls us a hackable creature, thanks to technology again. Read about it here.

I’ve known myself as someone who has always loved being home. I might be the classic introvert that personality quizzes describe. I love being at home – wiping dust off the book shelf, arranging and rearranging toiletries on the rack, or just playing the keyboard.

These days though I find stress creeping into the walls of my room, insecurity emerging out of social media taking over my dusty study desk, unnecessary emails gnawing up my creating time.

And I ask myself, what have I done to my home?

I must change it. It must be changed. Drawing lines – it might just be as simple, undecorated and acetic as that. Just as hard.


Growing Up is a weekly series on well, growing up, published every Saturday (Cheat week this Week as I wrote this on a Tuesday). It’s been 10 consecutive weeks I’ve been writing this specific column in my blog here. Can’t believe it’s 10 weeks already. They were right: time passes any way.  

C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S | A Poem

Your finger tips know
very well to scroll up and down,
tap right and right
and only right.

Oh! something appears:
Started School at XYZ.
Type congratulations!
Type it now,
because this post won’t appear later.
15 seconds and it will be gone
in the oceans of algorithms.
You’ll look mean and
rude and jealous,
so type fast, C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S!

A big glass of juice,
chocos dipped in milk,
because you love chocolate,
and yet you can’t let go of
the sight of the screen.

Let’s see:
Started Job At The Best Company In The
Whole Wide World.
Fast type: congratulations
because you do not mean to be rude,
even if your accounts have run dry,
this is not the time to
question the unconventional path
you’ve decided to walk on.

Type, type.
Because you are indeed proud of
that someone,
and wish nothing but
great things for the other.

Yet, you cannot stop wondering,
if the roads ahead
amount to anything.

Lying on the bed
close to mid-night,
the scrolling game in dim light.
The tech lights
might damage your sight,
but wait:
Engaged to DEF!
Fast, type: Congratulations,
even if you know this post will pop again,
type it fast.
Now’s not the time to worry about
your broken heart, your insecure mind
that tells you you’ve been doing something wrong
by being all by yourself
all this time.
Type: C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S!
Congratulations.

You do not mean ill will,
you do not mean disaster,
you are not the sour devil.
Even if you have to think twice
to type
congratulations!

Dried up appetites,
surviving on self doubts,
where do we belong?

Wait:
A proud father?
You look at yourself,
your body so fragile
unable to complete
what you’ve started
how and when will you ever think of a child?
Still type: Congratulations! 

Type type,
don’t be such a miser!
Wish a wish,
maybe it’ll come back to you.

Here’s a better idea:
let’s get out of this myopia.
Throw away the screen
and silence the voices in your head,
that tell you
you are not enough. 

Listen. Do not see.
Just listen.
You are E-N-O-U-G-H. 

Now write to yourself:
CONGRATULATIONS!


For everyone who feels everybody knows the path but yourself: No one does. No one. 
Pink Floyd was right:

“We’re just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year”

Brave

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough,
I said to her,
unable to meet her eyes
that looked like mine.

It’s alright, she said.

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough
to act when it was right,
I said, once again.

It’s alright, she said.

There’s some peace in acceptance,
to face your coward self,
to see things as they are.
It is not still too late to be brave.

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough
I said, to leap when the bridge appeared,
judgmental of the straps that held it.

I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough
to pull tomorrow into today,
to have lost your eyes a chance
to feel it once for real.

I do not know if tomorrow
will be as good as yesterday.

It’s alright, she said.

There’s some courage needed
to know today has become yesterday,
some more to honor the unknown as it comes
like waves of water.
It is not still too late to be brave.

It is not still too late to be brave.

Hi, Im..?

I wanted to say, ‘Hi, Im….and I want to be a writer,’ instead I ended up saying Im interested in…(finance)(marketing)… not that I love those subjects any less, but I have always known how I placed writing at the top. But I was scared, ashamed may be, because what I wanted to become wasnt considered consistent (or may be I didnt see it) with what I was studying to become.

We are often told how there are a variety of things we can do out of the ordinary, I perhaps a business student myself can find a profession, a market inside of business that needs writing, where words are king and their creators-gods.

But for a moment caught between hesitation and the bandwagon of our life I uttered words that most utter, and the most also do so because the other most utter them. We are, at most scared of facing our own dreams, wandering if what we like does have a co-relation with what we are doing. It might just have a strong positive co-relation. Its in my hands to find the points and join them.