Turning 20 was fabulous. Turning 18 was like forever. Turning 16 was simply the best. Since then it has been about growing up. Taking charge. And that is not really sweet, eh? 

Growing up is never easy for anyone because it involves change. And while we often advocate change, it always manages to freak us out if we meditate over it for a few minutes. Growing up is not easy also because it includes expectations-both self and from others (or may be we overthink that it does?). 

Its always fun talking about something until you get there, after that its time to face the music. What next? 

When we are kids, dreaming is fun. Because we do not have to sweat to get there, not yet. The moment we realize about the sweat, thats when it starts to freak us out. And dreaming is fun when a kid also because we make ourselves believe that we got tons of time in the bank. And we cash it out every time we get a bit older. 

Honestly we’d rather not do anything and rot than toll all day to see the sun. Because the night has been comforting all long. Because the dreams about the sun were sweet. It didn’t burn anyone of the dreamers. But that shouldn’t stop us from trying to reach out to the sun. 

I’d rather sleep all day and rot than see the sun. But I don’t want to anymore. 

It was a reflective birthday this year. As I tried to keep check of my anxiety and hold on to the future. It was nothing like turning 18 or 16 or 12 and it never will be. It will always be different, and its the different that makes it worth having all the way now. 

Its fun to imagine climbing Sagarmatha (Everest) and conquering its massive height, but its not quite fun when we think about the trainings and the labor that goes into. Those who want it, do it anyways. 

The following is a checklist I thought of on how I can do something new the coming year and be proud of next year when I turn older one more year. And we can all use it! 

FOLLOW THE DREAM. And it doesnt have to be fussing over the major you chosed or leaving the job you have. Sometimes it could only mean to have to do a little extra work. I’ll be blogging my days and dreaming about animal stories for my cousins despite my school schedule and assignment. 

ACTIVATE THE BRAIN. I will continue learning Mandarin and read a book entirely in Mandarin. We got brains to use them, right? 

TO TRY TO MASTER SOMETHING I THINK I’M WORSE AT. Since nobody’s perfect, we shouldn’t let the fear of being bullied back get the best of us. Just make sure I got the major facts right. 

PATIENCE. Rome wasn’t built in a day is a famous saying. Everything just looks like an overnight success thanks to the glitz of the television and computer. I’ll make sure I don’t believe it. Overnight sucess has years of ‘night’ in it. 


ONE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT ONE’S ACTIONS TREATS ONE FAIRLY. Try not to count the fruit. Sometimes the only control we have is over our actions and the work we put up. 

HOPE. HOPE. MORE HOPE. But after actions of course. 

Lastly, a very happy birthday to all the folks celebrating out there! 

I’d like to quote Mark Manson from his blog post about the things he learnt during his twenty somethings, ‘Nobody really has the idea of what they’re doing.’ 


I hope you enjoyed the post. And feel free to drop comments. 

We are always learning. 



Posted by:Alfa M. Shakya

Someone who likes to make things.

4 replies on “Becoming a year older: List of self reflections 

  1. I feel like so many people start things and stop once they get too hard. I am one of those people. Sometimes other things get in the way, sometimes we just don’t have the energy. But you’re right; you can’t achieve what you want without having the patience to put the time in. Happy birthday!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou Lauren. As humans most of us are alike. It is said that 99% of our DNAs are the same, it is the tiny percentage that gives us our personalities. I too feel the same sometimes, but we can’t give up on the things we love. I hope you go on to chase your dream, and one day find yourself standing righ in front of it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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